


The PokéBall Belt

by dainochild



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series)
Genre: Crack, M/M, Post-Game, Pranks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-19
Updated: 2012-10-19
Packaged: 2018-03-16 23:30:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3506759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dainochild/pseuds/dainochild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Professor Oak asks Green and Red to babysit the hobo living in his lab. After N manages to piss them off with his general N-ness, Red and Green decide to play a prank using Daisy's bra.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The PokéBall Belt

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rumpumpumbum](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rumpumpumbum/gifts).



> The prompt for this was "Please write Green giving N Daisy's bra. Because it's clearly a chest utility belt for PokéBalls."

Green was in the middle of resetting the traps on the Viridian Gym when Gramps called.

"I need to ask a favour."

Green peered around to the door, where Red was waiting. “Is it urgent?”

"I’m housing a Team Plasma fugitive and think he might try releasing all the lab pokémon if he’s left alone, so you tell me."

Stifling a laugh (because for a genius scientist, Gramps made a helluva lot of terrible choices), Green asked, “Can Red come?”

"That’s probably for the best."

"What about Blue?"

"Definitely not."

Green promised to be there soon. He left the traps half-changed and walked up to Red, who was having a staring contest with Pika.

"Oi, we’re going to Pallet," Green commanded.

Red nodded and climbed to his feet, not even questioning it. That was part of what Green liked about Red lately: he’d become very complaisant in the months since Green became his one and only source of sex.

"App-a-rent-ly, Gramps decided to take in some Unovan criminal and we’ve gotta go babysit the guy," Green explained as they walked.

Red nodded.

"…what, you knew?"

Red nodded again. Smirking, he added, “His name is Natural Harmonia Gropius.”

Green laughed the entire flight back to Pallet and almost fell off Charizard four times. He was composed when he knocked on the door to Gramps’ lab, even though it was Tracey Sketchit who opened the door.

"Thank you for coming so short notice," Gramps said, gathering the last of his papers.

"You’re not just going to your radio show, right?" Green asked.

"Oh, no, far more important than that."

"Good, cos —"

"It’s a television interview," Gramps beamed. "N! COME HERE, PLEASE."

The freak had bright green hair and was cradling a pokémon egg like some psychotic teen pregnant slurry whose child had been taken away.

"This is my grandson, Green," Gramps introduced. "And his, uh…"

"Fuck-buddy," Red deadpanned.

Green elbowed him roughly.

"…significant other, Red."

"I’ve heard of you both," N said. His voice wasn’t as pansy as Green had expected, but he spoke quickly, so he probably was a psychotic slurry. "I have a friend who was inspired to become a Trainer after watching your championship battle."

"Yep," Red said, because they heard that all the time.

"Act modest," Green hissed. Brightly, because he’d learnt PR from Gramps, Green replied, "Thanks. We were just doing our best."

"I didn’t say that I liked it," N replied.

Red and Green exchanged looks, simultaneously agreeing that this Plasma bitch needed to be messed with.

Gramps and Tracey left, and the game was on. Red slid over to N’s side and asked, “Can I see Zekrom?”

N shook his head. “My friend is not someone to be shown off. He does not enjoy great bouts of attention.”

Red pressed a hand to N’s chest and huskily said, “But I’d love _your_ attention.”

N blinked. “We are already talking. How else can you receive my attention?”

"Oh, I can think of a few ways…"

Green threw a PokéBall at Red. It slammed against Red’s cheek and released a very eager starter squirtle. N glared at Green before cooing all over the squirtle.

"That’s not gonna work," Green muttered as he pulled Red aside. "You’re just gonna piss me off."

Red shrugged. “You know I love you.”

Green watched N for a moment. “His thing is that he grew up in some cult believing he’s the messiah of pokémon, right?”

"Mm-hmm."

"But he doesn’t actually know about what real Trainers do," Green realised. "And we’re Masters. He’ll go with anything we say."

Red cackled. “It’s your go though, right?”

Green nodded. “I just need to get something…” He dashed from the lab with a call of, “Behave, boys!”

Red decided to pass the time by staring unblinkingly at N. Whenever N looked over, Red would make an exaggerated biting motion. N started edging away and kept nervously looking over. Bored, and deciding Green would forgive him, Red walked over, trailing his fingers across N’s shoulders as he walked to crouch by his side.

"Got a PokéDex?" Red asked in the same husky voice.

N gulped and shook his head. “Those, those devices are… are questionable and en-encourage the slavery of pokémon… possibly…”

"You should get one," Red said. He sat beside N, settling his hands high on N’s thigh. "The Professor wouldn’t mind giving you one, and then we’d be even…" He leant against N and whispered in his ear, "Closer."

"We don’t need to be closer," N insisted, clutching the squirtle to his chest and trying to squirm away.

"It’d bring you closer to your pokémon," Red added. He rested his head on N’s shoulder. "And I love a man who’s in touch with his pokémon. Makes me wanna touch him."

"Please get off of me," N squeaked. "I’m only being polite to you because you are Black’s idol."

"Aww, can’t I be your idol too?" Red pouted. "I lived on a mountain with my pokémon in their natural habitat for over a year, you know. We can communicate without even talking. I think that’s pretty impressive, right, Plasma Bait?"

Unfortunately, Green walked in. He was carrying a bra. Red quickly scrambled off of N and sat smiling innocently up at Green.

"…cheat," Green hissed. He sat down near N and very kindly said, "Sorry about Red. He’s a freak."

"Yes," N agreed.

"I’ve got something for you," Green said, handing over the bra. "Know what it is?"

N examined it. “No, but it appears to be some sort of belt.”

"That’s right," Green grinned. "It’s a chest-belt for PokéBalls."

N’s eyes widened.

"You’re gonna be travelling around, right?" Green asked. "And you’ll probably have to carry around PokéBalls when you don’t have a lot of free space. So that’s what it’s for, and it’s like that so you can just reach in and grab the PokéBalls."

Red stared at the bra. “That’s Daisy’s.”

"Yep." Green sat up straighter. "Wait, how do YOU know that?"

Red shook his head sadly. “I’ve battled her.”

"You jerk! She’s only an amateur, what if you’d hurt her pokémon?!"

This seemed to encourage N to believe them. He looped his arms through the bra. Green leant forward and helped him put it on properly, then grabbed his own PokéBalls from his belt to shove into the cups.

"I can see it would be convenient," N said, reaching in and pulling out the PokéBalls to return to Green. "Thank you."

"You’re welcome," Green said.

Red’s poker face wavered, but he managed to keep it in place until they left. As soon as Red started laughing, Green did too.

"Natural GROPER," Red snorted.

————————————-

Black was thrilled to have found N. It was N’s second trip to Kanto, so N was leading the way to Mt Silver.

"It’s difficult to climb," N said. "It’s good to keep your PokéBalls close." He reached into his bag and pulled out… a bra?

Black stared in disbelief as N pulled it on and shoved several PokéBalls down the cups.

"What?" N asked.

"…um… do you know what that is?"

N nodded. “A chest-belt for PokéBalls, of course. Green Oak gave it to me.”

"Green Oak," Black repeated. Understanding dawned. "Entitled, manipulative grandsonuvabitch."

N frowned. “What?”

"THAT is a bra," Black explained. "It’s for keeping girl’s… um… breasts, in place or… something. It’s not… there’s no such thing as a chest-belt for PokéBalls."

Blushing, N pulled the bra off, babbling about Red and biting and cruel senpai. Black patted him reassuringly on the arm.

"I think we should go back to Viridian and kick his ass," Black said.

"Yes," N muttered. "I think so."

———————

Even though it was about two years and dozens of pranked newbie Trainers later, Red had never forgotten Natural Groper, the bra-belt wearer. Somewhere between juggling the Viridian Gym and deciding to write a thesis about Pokémon Training Techniques to Boost Evolution, Green had. Red had more time to thinking about the past, since he sort of just lay around making faces at their pokémon.

That was probably the reason why Red was the only one laughing when he came home from training with Gold to find Green tied up by a collection of bras stuffed with PokéBalls. They were all over his torso, his hips, his legs, binding his ankles and wrists, gagging him, and even on his head like little rattata ears.

Red took a picture and sent it to Black and N with a Victoria’s Secret voucher.


End file.
